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>Kanaya: Regain Sense Of Identity
[916 Bilko Boulevard, Action]
*It's very early in the morning, when all good human children should be sleeping soundly. Except that if, for whatever reason, you're walking through the halls in the dead of night, you might hear very troubled sounds from within Kanaya's room. It sounds like she's having a nightmare - an extremely vivid nightmare.
But even if you aren't in the hallways late at night, you might definitely hear it when the nightmare murmurings build to a frightened, panicked yelp - followed immediately by a crashing sound.
Kanaya is now lying on the floor of her bedroom, startled awake by falling out of her bed. ...what's also startling is that her hands are gray now when she looks at them. And she has horns again on the top of her head. Kanaya is once again a troll, meaning she now actually looks like she does in her icons. Oh, and now she'll have terrible nightmares every night without sopor.
If you come into the room you might find her looking at herself in the mirror or sitting in bed hugging her knees to her chest because she really doesn't want to fall asleep again.*
[Voice, Later]
I must admit I found the whole thing dubious, but it looks like this town is just as capable of restoring to us that which it took away, as much as it was capable of taking it in the first place. It's kind of a relief to have my troll body back, though I imagine I'll earn more stares from passersby as I go about everyday business.
In an altogether unrelated question, does anybody have an idea where one might come to acquire sopor slime? Say, enough to fill a small recuperacoon?
*It's very early in the morning, when all good human children should be sleeping soundly. Except that if, for whatever reason, you're walking through the halls in the dead of night, you might hear very troubled sounds from within Kanaya's room. It sounds like she's having a nightmare - an extremely vivid nightmare.
But even if you aren't in the hallways late at night, you might definitely hear it when the nightmare murmurings build to a frightened, panicked yelp - followed immediately by a crashing sound.
Kanaya is now lying on the floor of her bedroom, startled awake by falling out of her bed. ...what's also startling is that her hands are gray now when she looks at them. And she has horns again on the top of her head. Kanaya is once again a troll, meaning she now actually looks like she does in her icons. Oh, and now she'll have terrible nightmares every night without sopor.
If you come into the room you might find her looking at herself in the mirror or sitting in bed hugging her knees to her chest because she really doesn't want to fall asleep again.*
[Voice, Later]
I must admit I found the whole thing dubious, but it looks like this town is just as capable of restoring to us that which it took away, as much as it was capable of taking it in the first place. It's kind of a relief to have my troll body back, though I imagine I'll earn more stares from passersby as I go about everyday business.
In an altogether unrelated question, does anybody have an idea where one might come to acquire sopor slime? Say, enough to fill a small recuperacoon?
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...how do you mean by that?
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[He is, though. He's actually never been too bothered by the nightmares he knows the sopor is designed to prevent; the few times he's fallen asleep at his computer or watching movies in the past, it hasn't been bad.
But since coming here, he's been having nightmares of a different kind. He doesn't know if sopor will fix that, considering they plague him just the same as a human, and he doesn't really care. His bad dreams are all focused on what will be the reality if he doesn't work hard enough.]
It's stupid, but I've sort of been thinking a lot that maybe we aren't just friends. I mean, he came into my life out of nowhere and I've always sort of felt like I have a responsibility towards him. Especially now that I know what he's capable of, I just think he's more than that and I want to be the one who keeps that from happening.
You know what I mean?
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*And she listens to him speak for a while - and she's quiet for a moment after he's finished speaking. She does know how he feels. She's felt that way too, once. And even if those feelings have come and (mostly) gone, she remembers them well.* ...I certainly do.
Karkat, you're saying you want to strike up a moiraillegiance with him, aren't you.
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I wouldn't be any good at it, but he's too dumb to know the difference.
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I mean, I'm not exactly the most patient asshole around. Let alone a fucking calming influence.
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You don't think your presence is a calming one for Gamzee?
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But more than that, you're actively caring for him, Karkat. Just think about everything you've said to me right now. That's the very essence of being a moirail.
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I just hate to think that there was something I could have done for him in the veil and I didn't do it.
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Are you going to let thoughts of what you could have done stop you from doing what you can do here?
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I'm not going to do that again. Or I hope I won't, but I always manage to fuck up.
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...you need to stop being so unreasonably hard on yourself.
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I just didn't know if he'd want to talk to me, since he kept going on about all that blood status shit.
I don't think I'm being too hard on myself. Can you honestly say that?
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Yes, I can honestly say that. And in fact, I am honestly saying that. You're taking on innumerable duties and expecting perfection in all of them. That is unreasonable, and you are being unreasonable. *Her voice is still gentle, but there's no mistaking the firmness there, either. Kind of like a mom, if trolls had them.*
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I'm sorry, I know you want to help, but I think you're wrong. Maybe there are times and places for 'whoops, I tried my best, screwed the woofbeast in millions of ways, but I sure did give it my all' but the end of the world isn't one of them. After you asked others to follow you and trust in your decisions isn't one of them. When you failed someone who believed in you and really needed you isn't one of them.
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Do you think you can do everything? Do you have so little faith in the rest of us that you believe it should be your job to deal with every last crisis on your own?
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But they trusted me. I don't think I have to tell you how much that... [He trails off, uncomfortable expressing that outloud even to Kanaya.]
I haven't really done anything right. You can't tell me that doesn't matter.
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Whether you believe that you haven't done anything right isn't important, because I don't believe you've necessarily anything wrong, either. You have been faced with difficult decisions and you have acted to prevent disaster as well as you were able.
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But he knows Kanaya won't appreciate that perspective, and he doesn't want to argue about this.]
Maybe you have a point.
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I'll let the matter drop, provided you agree to discuss it openly and frankly with me at a later date. A pile may be involved.
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[He doesn't really want to talk about it, but he'll agree anyway.]
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