>Kanaya: Offer (And Seek) Helpful Aesthetic Advice

[chastesaw]

[Phone, Open]

As the days persist and wind on, I become increasingly convinced that my initial theory - that panscrubbed individuals in this town will only wear the most excruciatingly dreary, soporific and otherwise dull accouterments to be found this side of Alternia - is vexingly accurate.

In other words, I have ransacked every last alcove and cranny in this human hive and have found absolutely nothing worth wearing on a day-to-day basis, let alone an event where formal attire is mandated of us.

Do more attractive garments exist anywhere in this town, or will I be forced to take up needle and thread to make them myself if I am to have anything remotely suitable?

[Phone, filtered to Homestuck!Kids and Trolls. And... Davesprite, too. Sure, why the hell not?]

As you all have undoubtedly learned from the gossip and erstwhile scuttlebutt at the schooling block, there is an event called Homecoming scant days away to which we are all expected to attend. Considering certain other events that have transpired in this town, I would normally be wary of such an invitation but from what I have read of this, airquotes, Homecoming, it doesn't seem nearly as ominous or troublesome as it might be.

Actually, I think it could be fun. For all of us.

And given that formal, or at the very least somewhat nice apparel is required of all of us - and also given that I am aware most of you could not possibly give an airborne expletive about your appearance under normal circumstances - I would be more than happy to offer my assistance in the matter.

Really, I would just like to help you all look nice. All of you.

That isn't too much to ask, is it?

Comments

[naicha]

Ooh, I'm not so good at coming up with my own designs, but I'll work hard, you know!

_{[ Since they'll kind of be working together, ]} I'm Taiwan! What's your name?

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Alright, so you're the only fashionista on your poor aesthetically-impaired planet. Which either means you're awesome or crazy.

Well, if Jade likes what you- wait, no, if Rose likes what you come up with, I'll be willing to maybe let you see if you're awesome enough to cool-guy cloth the pure embodiment of coolness in birdly form.

[frilly-filly.livejournal.com]

Then I look forward to working with you!

in house;

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

Haa Haa.

You know well. I suppose I cannot deceive you. Mainly because I am not deceiving you at this current point in time.

phone; filtered

[cullscuttlefish]

Definitely. At least we can find some fabric that looks half-decent rather than all bluh. I hope.

We need to show this town what actual fashion looks like.

phone - filtered

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

[If there was one thing he was missing. It was his cape and scarf...]
Well Kan I always did appreciate your taste in fashion. Hopin' you can be fashionin' me somethin' up appropriate to my tastes. Cape an' scarf, the whole nine fathoms.

phone - filtered

[chastesaw]

*Oh dammit, she knew there was someone she was forgetting to filter this from.*

And may I assume that if I do give you another gift of my time and effort you will not attempt to murder me with this particular one?

[chastesaw]

It is entirely possible that the operating conjunction there should not be "or."

You say that knowing Rose Lalonde and I already share similar tastes? Very well.

[chastesaw]

If that is your concern than you needn't worry, I am rather capable with designs though to be fair the only one who has ever evaluated them is myself so I suppose I could be completely off the mark.

My name is Kanaya Maryam. It is nice to meet you.

[chastesaw]

And I you.

in house;

[chastesaw]

That is a difficult statement to correctly assess as its entire existence hinges on it not being a deception in its own right.

But that aside I will accept your offer and offer thanks in return.

phone; filtered

[chastesaw]

That is true, our success does depend on the acquisition of the proper materials but I trust that hopefully they are in existence somewhere even if we must tear the town down to the seams in order to locate them.

[naicha]

Nice to meet you, too, Kanaya! _{[ oh... her tone gets a little sadder ]} No one's ever seen your designs? How come?

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

That's real comforting.

...yeah kinda getting that vibe now that I think of it shit did I just sign up for some kinda gothic psychological fashion statement?

[chastesaw]

I did not mean to imply that people have not viewed my designs, but rather that they do not possess sufficient interest in one's aesthetic sense and superb color coordination to care.

[chastesaw]

Please do not insult my capabilities as a fashion consultant by insinuating that I would dress everybody in the same make and style of garments regardless of whether or not it suited them.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Alright, cool your jets, take 'em out back and throw them in an ice bath and give them all popsicles, damn, I mean, I've got some troll chick from another planet that was also home to mister flaming ragehole and miss gets-kids-killed-for-fun face who just suggested she's either crazy-awesome or awesome-crazy saying she wants to dress me up, you can see why I might have as many reservations as the Native Americans before Earth exploded.

[naicha]

They don't? ... I'm sure there must be one other person who likes Kanaya's designs. I mean, that's impossible!

You are now picturing Eridan fighting like Rose from Street Fighter

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Can't be murderin' the one who's makin' me look good again. Plannin' to stick to my word this time.

Besides can't really be murderin' people with a scarf now can I?

in house;

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

Hee Hee.

I leave that up to you to decide. Know that I never lie, of my own choice.

How much do you need?

[chastesaw]

Your poorly metaphoric reservations will be unfounded, I assure you. The only potential difficulty I can foresee is a matter of scale.

[chastesaw]

Unfortunately it is not only possible it is undoubtedly the way things are.

On Alternia aesthetics are rarely a primary concern. They aren't even a tertiary one.

in house;

[chastesaw]

It would be premature of me to say at this point, as I have no idea what provisions and materials are available in this human hivecluster at this point, nor how much currency is required for purchase.

In other words, I will look into the matter and get back to you.

Oh jeez

[chastesaw]

To be perfectly forthcoming, Eridan, I do not particularly care what you are "planning" as you have broken your word once already, showing that it can not be trusted.

And then you killed me, which is also a rather significant mark against my full and unconditional trust.

But I do suppose it would be difficult to eliminate others with a simple fabric strip.

in house;

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

That seems fair. Do not feel like you need to scrimp and go cheap. I will only allow the finest equipment to be bought with the money I give to you.

[He isn't going to let you bring cheap junk into this fancy house!]