>Kanaya: Offer (And Seek) Helpful Aesthetic Advice

[chastesaw]

[Phone, Open]

As the days persist and wind on, I become increasingly convinced that my initial theory - that panscrubbed individuals in this town will only wear the most excruciatingly dreary, soporific and otherwise dull accouterments to be found this side of Alternia - is vexingly accurate.

In other words, I have ransacked every last alcove and cranny in this human hive and have found absolutely nothing worth wearing on a day-to-day basis, let alone an event where formal attire is mandated of us.

Do more attractive garments exist anywhere in this town, or will I be forced to take up needle and thread to make them myself if I am to have anything remotely suitable?

[Phone, filtered to Homestuck!Kids and Trolls. And... Davesprite, too. Sure, why the hell not?]

As you all have undoubtedly learned from the gossip and erstwhile scuttlebutt at the schooling block, there is an event called Homecoming scant days away to which we are all expected to attend. Considering certain other events that have transpired in this town, I would normally be wary of such an invitation but from what I have read of this, airquotes, Homecoming, it doesn't seem nearly as ominous or troublesome as it might be.

Actually, I think it could be fun. For all of us.

And given that formal, or at the very least somewhat nice apparel is required of all of us - and also given that I am aware most of you could not possibly give an airborne expletive about your appearance under normal circumstances - I would be more than happy to offer my assistance in the matter.

Really, I would just like to help you all look nice. All of you.

That isn't too much to ask, is it?

Comments

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Seriously, all of us?

Gonna help a bird look fly?

[chastesaw]

In the interest of a challenge, I suppose so.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

...okay, that's actually pretty cool. I mean, unless you end up dressing me in some bizarre troll formal wear that looks completely whack. That would suck.

[chastesaw]

I can assure you that my sense of fashion bears a complete and utter lack of resemblance to that generally possessed by my kind.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

...wow, way to send a bro totally mixed signals.

[No seriously, even his irony-senses can't parse if this means she's completely off the deep-end or she's insulting troll fashion sense or both.]

[chastesaw]

Do you think so? I thought it was fairly straightforward myself.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

It could go either way; I mean, other than clown-troll it's not like you guys dress completely hideous.

[chastesaw]

It's true that few of them commit the merciless crimes against fashion of Gamzee but that does not mean they care for any type of aesthetics.

Because they don't.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Alright, so you're the only fashionista on your poor aesthetically-impaired planet. Which either means you're awesome or crazy.

Well, if Jade likes what you- wait, no, if Rose likes what you come up with, I'll be willing to maybe let you see if you're awesome enough to cool-guy cloth the pure embodiment of coolness in birdly form.

[chastesaw]

It is entirely possible that the operating conjunction there should not be "or."

You say that knowing Rose Lalonde and I already share similar tastes? Very well.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

That's real comforting.

...yeah kinda getting that vibe now that I think of it shit did I just sign up for some kinda gothic psychological fashion statement?

[chastesaw]

Please do not insult my capabilities as a fashion consultant by insinuating that I would dress everybody in the same make and style of garments regardless of whether or not it suited them.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Alright, cool your jets, take 'em out back and throw them in an ice bath and give them all popsicles, damn, I mean, I've got some troll chick from another planet that was also home to mister flaming ragehole and miss gets-kids-killed-for-fun face who just suggested she's either crazy-awesome or awesome-crazy saying she wants to dress me up, you can see why I might have as many reservations as the Native Americans before Earth exploded.

[chastesaw]

Your poorly metaphoric reservations will be unfounded, I assure you. The only potential difficulty I can foresee is a matter of scale.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Okay, cool. I mean, I guess worst comes to worst, I can just not wear it.

Do you like, need me to come over for measurements or something?

[chastesaw]

You are a bird. I will just make it small.

But I suppose it couldn't hurt.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Hey, come on, that's like saying "you are a human I will just make it human-sized". I'm not super thrilled by the idea of a one-size-fits-all suit.

What house you at and how many crazy people live there that I have to watch out for?