>Kanaya: Panic

[chastesaw]

[Phone]

*Kanaya's voice sounds as precise and collected as ever... for the most part. If someone knows her very, very well they might be able to hear that she's speaking slightly faster than normal.* Hello, everybody.

I hope that the adolescent populace (and perhaps some of the adults as well) enjoyed themselves at the hiveapproaching soiree this past weekend, and that they all learned valuable lessons whether personal or otherwise. For example, I am now aware that it is in poor judgment to trust human beverages no matter how sweet and fruitlike they may smell.

It was heartening to see the combined attendees make some attempt at "cleaning up," so to speak, and I would like to remind you all that there is no reason to cease caring about your appearance simply because there is no formal event to attend. This may have been a good start but I dearly hope that you will all continue going forward.

If you need sound advice on the matter I will gladly render it.

[Private to Karkat 1338 Benny Road]

*And here, Kanaya sounds more outright distressed.* Karkat? Karkat, are you there? I believe I have found myself in a rather severe dilemma and I'm not altogether certain how to proceed.

I can't really offer any explanations for my thoughts at the time, if I was in fact thinking anything at all, but I kissed her. Momentarily. For a brief fleeting instant that might as well not have existed except that I am positive it did.

This has become a very precarious scenario.

*Kanaya believes she has just phoned Karkat. She has, in fact, phoned his entire house.*

Comments

[chastesaw]

Is it really that difficult to imagine that I participated in neither of these traditional adolescent activities? Because I did not.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Why not? Pretty much all your other troll pals were and you totally got drunk.

[chastesaw]

Because I did not care to. It's quite simple.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Did you not care to, or did no one care to with you? Though, hell, even hipster-douchefuck troll got away with kissing fish-princess, so you would have to have like, 8-levels of hidden fucked-up to fall lower than that on the attractiveness scale.

[chastesaw]

...I'm sorry.

What did you say?

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

If you're trying to get me to admit I just implied you appear to be 7 levels higher on the attractiveness scale than a finny hipster douchebag, it ain't gonna happen.

[chastesaw]

No, before that.

About Eridan kissing Feferi. Elaborate, now.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Huh? Right, that's her name. [He mostly just recognized her as "that girl who was with Kanaya when they tried to kill him as a zombie". And hell if he knows eridan, he only recognized gray-skinned douchebag] She was drunk, he may or may not have been, then he kissed her. I dunno what else to say, I wasn't exactly writing a report on the subject, so if you want to know how much tongue there was and in whose throats then you're gonna have to ask someone else.

[chastesaw]

That dishonest, murderous, two-faced grub of a barkbeast!

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Soooo... I'm guessing this isn't just another cute foray into the quadrants of trollmance?

[chastesaw]

Decidedly not. Or did you happen to miss the part where I described him as "murderous" just now?

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Dude, your whole culture is full of legalized lawyerslayers and policicapitators or whatever, how am I supposed to tell when it's the bad kind of murderous?

[chastesaw]

That is... actually a perfectly valid point and I apologize for the confusion.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Good.

So I take it finny hipster douchebag troll offed someone he shouldn't have and so it's not appreciated that he's putting the moves on your friend while she's drunk?

[chastesaw]

In a manner of speaking, yes. It is slightly more complex than that but there is no need to elaborate right now.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

So you gonna go kick his ass?