>Kanaya: Offer (And Seek) Helpful Aesthetic Advice

[chastesaw]

[Phone, Open]

As the days persist and wind on, I become increasingly convinced that my initial theory - that panscrubbed individuals in this town will only wear the most excruciatingly dreary, soporific and otherwise dull accouterments to be found this side of Alternia - is vexingly accurate.

In other words, I have ransacked every last alcove and cranny in this human hive and have found absolutely nothing worth wearing on a day-to-day basis, let alone an event where formal attire is mandated of us.

Do more attractive garments exist anywhere in this town, or will I be forced to take up needle and thread to make them myself if I am to have anything remotely suitable?

[Phone, filtered to Homestuck!Kids and Trolls. And... Davesprite, too. Sure, why the hell not?]

As you all have undoubtedly learned from the gossip and erstwhile scuttlebutt at the schooling block, there is an event called Homecoming scant days away to which we are all expected to attend. Considering certain other events that have transpired in this town, I would normally be wary of such an invitation but from what I have read of this, airquotes, Homecoming, it doesn't seem nearly as ominous or troublesome as it might be.

Actually, I think it could be fun. For all of us.

And given that formal, or at the very least somewhat nice apparel is required of all of us - and also given that I am aware most of you could not possibly give an airborne expletive about your appearance under normal circumstances - I would be more than happy to offer my assistance in the matter.

Really, I would just like to help you all look nice. All of you.

That isn't too much to ask, is it?

Comments

[foretastes.livejournal.com]

[ohhhh... Homecoming, it sounds sort of familiar! maybe her classmates had been talking about it.

Terezi can't figure out for the life of her why formal attire would be needed for such a thing, though.]

Well... what is it? Why do we need to dress up?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[Yeah, he has no idea what the Homecoming thing is.]

Uhhh...why we gotta all be busting out fancy threads just to go back to our hives? And what's wrong with what I'm all wearing now? [the answer is everything, Gamzee...]

[chastesaw]

From what I have gathered, Homecoming is a social event for human youth that is usually held near the beginning of the annual schoolfeeding session. Traditionally, at Homecoming the student body is responsible for selecting the schooling block's ruling Emperor and Empress from its own numbers, so I can only imagine that there is some political significance to the event as well.

The literature I have perused on the subject suggests that refreshments will be served and consumed, fumbling dances will likely be attempted and hijinks of various degress of wackiness may or may not ensue. In other words it is like a gala or soiree for youth, only not nearly as glamorous or elegant. Still, it is the next best thing.

And you need to dress up because that is simply how things are done.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

Seriously, all of us?

Gonna help a bird look fly?

[chastesaw]

I do not have the time nor the requisite vocabulary to adequately answer your second question so I will have to, as they say, "cop out" by instead assuring you that it is simply inappropriate for the occasion.

To your first question, we will not be wearing the fancy threads to stay in our hives but to attend a party held for all the student body at the schooling block.

And no, I don't know why they call it Homecoming either.

[chastesaw]

In the interest of a challenge, I suppose so.

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

...okay, that's actually pretty cool. I mean, unless you end up dressing me in some bizarre troll formal wear that looks completely whack. That would suck.

[foretastes.livejournal.com]

[what the fuck

WHY ARE HUMAN TRADITIONS SO WEIRD]

So... [she's drawing a blank.] Wait! Feferi should enter this, right? We have to have someone represent us! [Feferi as Homecoming Empress only seems logical.]

Well, okay. I'll just sniff out something tasty. [which in Terezi speak means I WILL CHOOSE THE MOST HIDEOUS, CLASHING DRESS.]

[chastesaw]

Please don't.

Er-- *That was kind of rude.* --By that I mean I would be happy to assist you in putting together an ensemble that would be both visually pleasing and suitable to your olfactory sense.

But yes, I certainly agree that of us Feferi is the most sensible choice for Schooling Block Empress. As for Emperor...

*Eridan? Oh hell no, even if he would insist it was his right by virtue of his blood. She'd rather run for Emperor herself than give him a chance. Gamzee? Well, it'd be better than Eridan, but he's still not very royal material even if he did understand what was happening, but that would be a long shot.

Equius? Most certainly not; Kanaya didn't even think they made sweat-stain-resistant royal garb. Sollux probably would be the most uninterested person in the history of disinterest, and Tavros would simply be too shy.* ...Karkat might be a good choice. He is our leader, after all.

[chastesaw]

I can assure you that my sense of fashion bears a complete and utter lack of resemblance to that generally possessed by my kind.

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

[He only understood about 25% of the words she used, but he's totally used to that.] Nah, this place's well stupid when it comes to fashion, but what can y'expect from the Stone Age? If y'haven't got anythin' from home yet, makin' somethin' yourself's your best bet.

[naicha]

_{[ Blah blah blah oh there's a question. Something that pings her, too. ]}

Um, no. I have some clothes I can lend you if you need them, though! They're really cute. And you sound like a cute person! _{[ Because Japan talks a teeny tiny bit like her, and Taiwan thinks he's cute. Taiwan thinks everyone is cute... ]}

[frilly-filly.livejournal.com]

I'd be quite happy to take up commissions for you and all of your friends. I believe we spoke over the phone the other day.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

So you're getting into this, too? I wasn't sure if anyone was planning on going.

[chastesaw]

That is precisely the answer I was least looking forward to.

But I appreciate it nonetheless.

[chastesaw]

Do you think so? I generally try to cultivate a more "elegant" or "refined" image but "cute" is more than acceptable regardless.

Are you certain that they would fit me, though?

[chastesaw]

Allow me to preface this by saying that I tremendously appreciate the offer and that I will surely take you up on it (and yes, your belief is correct) but I couldn't possibly trouble you to create outfits for so many... distinct individuals in such little time. That would be very unreasonable of me to ask.

[chastesaw]

I am, actually! I did think it might be an entertaining event for us to all attend.

[naicha]

Oh. _{[ Suddenly sounds unsure. ]} People say I'm... kind of petite. _{[ She's 4'11". ]}

But I'm sure you could pass it off as part of your style or something!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't know if everyone will be interested in going.

in house;

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

[Scratch walks by as she talks on the phone. And well, it's not easy for him to ignore it.]

It is unlikely that you will find clothes that suit your taste. Earth fashion is rather dull and diluted at this point in time, much like the fashion tastes on your planet. Fits with the normally dreary mood of this town.

[chastesaw]

Oh.

...I am considered rather tall for a female of my kind. This may prove troublesome.

[chastesaw]

Then I will convince them.

in house;

[chastesaw]

*Even if you aren't in your normal form you still make the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Which is a really weird sensation, by the way, considering that it doesn't happen for trolls.* That is very distressing. Even on Alternia I was able to make do, though much of the work was my own in the end.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Whooooa, a party? Sounds like a real bitchtits time! Should I be all whipping out the extra polka dots for this, then?